Warning, this article is going to make me sound like a Judgy McJudgerson. It’s true, I stereotyped little boys (and their parents) until one fateful day, when MY son made his grand appearance into the world. If you have a son, you will get it, if you don’t, please read on and be enlightened.
1. They are not affectionate. Hollywood would have us to believe that men are tough, strong and incapable of showing affection. If you know a man in real life that is like this, let me tell you he didn’t start out that way! Affection is my son’s middle name. He can be sweet, cuddly, clingy, suffocating even. He neeeeeeeeeeds me, to touch me and be close to me. Sure, the snuggle might end with a toy to the skull, or a kick to the shin (what is up with boys?) but he is still more affectionate than my girls were at that age!
2. They smell bad. Granted, my son is only 21 months, and once his hormones kick in and I am not in charge of bathing him, I am sure this might change. But right now, my son smells like peaches! Or oatmeal, or pizza…..basically he smells like whatever food he has most recently eaten. This is for the pure and simple fact that he is unwilling to eat his food without smearing it in his hair, dropping it down his shirt, shoving it in his ears and any other nook or cranny that seems interesting at the moment. My husband made the fateful mistake of giving him yogurt the other day and pre-emptively reminding him NOT to put it in his hair. Thanks for giving him the idea bro, I’ll go get the hose now.
3. They are conditioned by their parents to like trucks and planes (and don’t even get me started on balls). Now I’m a woman of faith, and I believe with all my heart that God made boys and girls different from each other. But I never understood how little teeny tiny innocent looking boys became so easily obsessed with things that go. I mean honestly, their daddies have to be shoving this stuff down their throats right? WRONG. My son was no more than 9 months old when he became obsessed with ANYTHING outside of the house that made a loud noise. Trucks, cars, planes, trains…you name it, he loved it. I have pictures from the library when he was 13 months old and they had a bunch of tractors in the parking lot for the kids to play on. My son is standing in the scoop, climbing in the tires, touch the paint. And my girls? They’re sitting on the side all, “It’s hot! When are we leaving? Why are these here?” I don’t get it people. What is up with these kids?
4. They aren’t as smart as girls. Now before you get all “You’re sexist” on me, let me explain. All I ever heard about boys before I had one is that they don’t talk as early as girls, that they are hard to potty train, and that the mature slower. I’m not really sure where “they” got their info from, but it simply isn’t true for all boys! I love all my children the same, I really do, but I’m pretty sure this son of mine is on his way to Yale. I might even throw a few more pennies towards his college fund, you know what I mean? (kidding, geez).
5. That “He’s all boy” and “Boys will be boys” were just phrases that parents of boys used to cover up the tracks of their bad parenting. Eek, I know, this is probably the worst of my previously believed notions. The most judgy at least. I’ve worked with, and been around kids for a long time, and I have heard these phrases a million times. And I’ve rolled my eyes a million and one times. Parents usually say these sorts of things in group settings, where their child is throwing their food off the table, or wrestling with the neighbors cat. I always thought they were just being lame and copping out, but now I know what they mean is “This child is insane, I’ve been chasing him around non stop for the last ___ years, and right now, if you don’t mind, I’m just going to sit here and not worry about it.” Sit back my fellow weary mama, take a load off. After all, boys will be boys…